Caleb's No Good, Very Bad Day.

Yesterday was a disaster.

And by disaster, I don’t mean that Caleb was a bit cranky and that sucked for like, 15 minutes.  I mean that Caleb was a complete and fucking disaster for the whole fucking day, leaving me in tears, threatening to slit my wrists if this is a sign of my life to come.  All I could to do was make some yummy thai food for dinner, shove some major migraine meds up my butt, and cry on the phone to my mom.  And then I passed out at 9:30.

It all started at occupational therapy.  I guess Caleb was not cooperating very well because he emerged from the hallway wearing a compression vest.  I got a bit of a lecture from Mr. Jason about not letting Caleb run the show.  Caleb will collapse to the ground in a pool of Jello when he is redirected to do something he doesn’t want to do; the compression vest is supposed to, among other things, inhibit this Jello-collapse.  From what I saw, all it did was severely piss him off.  

After his therapies, we ran a few errands, and he was okay.  He was whiney, but I kept him fully supplied in pretzels.  In his mind I am the Pretzel Queen.  I am rolling in pretzels.

However, when we got home, shit was storming. 

• I tried to feed him; he threw the food on the floor.
• I tried to use my computer; he started banging his doll’s ceramic head against my computer’s keyboard and screen.
• I took away said offensive doll; Caleb screamed and cried and screamed and cried.  And screamed.
•  I tried to use my computer on the fireplace mantle; Caleb pushed and hit me, trying to move me and get my attention.
• I tried to give Caleb attention; he stormed away from me and ignored me.
• A new toy came in the mail; Caleb recognized it from his speech/language therapy.  I tried to go put batteries in it so we could play with it; Caleb climbed up on the table, squatted down with his fist clenched and screamed. And screamed.  And screamed.
• When I did get the new toy working, Caleb did play with it nicely for a bit.  Then all of a sudden he got frustrated.  He threw a toy coffee pot at my shin.  That kind of sucked.
• He then kicked me.
• He then threw his new toy so hard all the pieces went flying and came apart.
• When I tried to look at him to tell him we don’t hit, he shoved my face away.

These are just specific examples I am picking out of an overall shitty day that included him also biting me, shoving me, and being a defiant at every moment. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I understand that no matter how bad my day was, his day was worse.  And I do have compassion for my little guy.  I recently posted a pic that stated, “No, my child isn’t giving me a rough time, my child is HAVING a rough time.”  And yes, that is something I have to remember.  That isn’t about me – my son is the one who is having a hard time adjusting to his emotions.  His explosions are not about me, they are about him.

At the same time, it is a good thing that my son is adorable.  Seriously.