Highs and Lows

It seems that with an autistic child, the highest highs are often followed with the lowest lows.

Happiness is great, wonderful, and fantastic, but when Caleb gets too excited or too happy, he can't quite control himself.  He will want to do something that he is not supposed to do and at some point, I am going to have to say, "no."  Then Caleb will have a meltdown.  This is why I prefer contentment or peacefulness to happiness.

For example:

Today, Caleb was insisting that he wanted to go into the kitchen (we have a baby gate up separating the dining room from the kitchen).  He was so cute and so persistent, that I eventually caved; I made him hold my hand because I didn't want him running to the dog water and splashing in it like he usually does.  Caleb always wants to run in the kitchen and splash in the dog water.  It is disgusting.  But, this time, Caleb held onto my hand and stayed away from the doggie bowl.

Caleb discovered the fridge and freezer.  Soon his new raison d'etre was to pull every frozen item out of our freezer and put it on the floor.  Strawberries, asparagus, brussels sprouts, all arranged to his liking on our faux wooden floor. 

But then, with the salmon burgers in his hand, he saw the doggie water bowl.  His eyes lit up and he dashed toward it.  I got there and lifted him away from the water before he got soaked and tried to redirect Caleb back to the freezer.  But, alas, Caleb had a new, shinier toy to play with and the freezer was old cow.

Eventually I had to hoist Caleb back over the baby gate and just put the food back in the freezer myself.

Caleb was beside himself.
He cried and screamed and threw toys and hit himself.
He had tears and snot streaming down his face.
I sat down on the floor without making a noise and reached my hand out to him, he was repelled by me, as if I were the most offense being on Earth.
But still, I gently brought Caleb over to my lap where I quietly told him that I understood why he was upset and that I respected his feelings.

I then put on baby crack, a la Giggle Bellies, and after 22 minutes of that, I mostly had my baby boy back.

5 minutes of happiness followed by about 30 minutes of shear meltdown terror.

Yeah, sometimes I don't know if it is worth it....