What NOT to say

It has almost become cliche in the autism community:  your child doesn't look autistic.

Well, it is cliche for a reason.

I am so sick of hearing this.

What do you expect to see from my son?

Is he supposed to run around with his hands over his ears, screaming constantly?

Is he supposed to be rocking back and forth in some Rain Man rhythm?

And then I hear from other parents:  he looks just like a regular 2 year old.

Well, thanks I guess.  But, he isn't.  I don't know if they are trying to be supportive or if they think that I have the wrong diagnosis, but I don't always understand the motive for saying this.  And it doesn't really sound supportive.  It sounds judge-y.

I can understand how some people may think that saying Caleb doesn't look autistic is a compliment, but in reality, it isn't.  Because autism doesn't look a specific way.  As they say, if you have seen 1 child with autism, you have seen 1 child with autism.